wandering sails

how to sell cherries.

every time i use the express lane, i swear i'm never going to use it again. inevitably, i do. in fact, every time i run to the grocery store in a hurry (usually during a short break), i use the "express" lane. i've decided to embrace this and use it as fodder for writing.

yesterday, i needed lettuce and a peach. i had a bet for lunch, but i wanted a belt, so i needed the lettuce. (it's a blt with egg) i quickly procured the items, being in the hurry that i was, and made my way to this "express" lane. harvey was our cashier for the day and there was an elderly couple up to bat and a woman on deck before it would be my blessed turn. said couple (who, though i didn't get a good look at everything, seemed to have more than the allotted ten items, but this is not what i write about today) were purchasing five bags of bing cherries. they were on sale and quite a good deal. after asking the couple whether or not they left any cherries for the other customers, harvey proceeded to sell us on the cherries. 'oh, i had some of these last night and they weren't very good. not like i like them. i had some a couple of weeks ago and they were hard as a rock. they were good. but these weren't very good. not firm enough for me. i liked the ones a couple of weeks ago better. yeah, these are soft.' let me tell you. i was ready to get out of my coveted spot to get some of these incredible cherries. and there were two people who had gotten in line behind me. and i was in a hurry. i was sold. and then, when harvey finally finished ringing their stuff up, he said to the man, 'do you want to know how much you saved?' to which the man, who quite evidently just wanted his dang receipt so he could get out of the store, shook his head to the negative. harvey, being the ever tactful cashier said, 'don't just shake your head! you saved $32.17. that's not something to shake your head at.' couple leaves. harvey starts to ring up aforementioned woman. his choice of conversation for her was how ridiculous it was that coupled man didn't want to know how much he saved. (which, on a side note, is quite a lot of money to save on 10 items that appeared to be mostly produce.) the other wonderful thing about harvey is that he's slow. it took him a good five minutes to ring up this woman's two items. which really begs the question of why he's been placed in this so-called "express" lane. i think it's a conspiracy. so now i'm getting antsy, not only because i'm afraid of being chastised about my purchases, but also because my quick trip to the store has now taken twenty minutes. i was so nervous, in fact, that after an uneventful encounter with harvey, i started to walk off with his pen. this was his fodder. now i'm stealing his pen and did not successfully avoid his old-man-'i'm-really-funny' jokes. alas. this is what i deserve for purchasing less than 10 items. shame on me. shame.

posted by julie @ 8:59 AM