le temps de repos.
i am blessed to work for an organization that gives me days to get away. that pays me to spend time away from work. some would call this vacation. i call the concept heaven on earth.heaven on earth is not where i went last week. on one hand, this camp has always held a very dear place in my heart and it feels good to go back. it was wonderful to see old friends and spend time with those who were once a second family. on another hand, camp is in trouble. camp is in a bad place. poor leadership and lack of action have put this amazing bit of land and all that is good about it teetering on the edge of a rather high cliff. it's hard to think that the only thing that could save this camp is for it to fall off that cliff. i love this camp. it was there, when i was nine years old that i committed my life to christ. and it was there, when i was 21 that i finally got what that meant. the parts this place has played in my journey are ones i would not want to give up. and as i watch my dear friends walk through the fire that i was forbidden from walking through, my heart is torn. how easy it would be to turn my eyes away. to continue being accepted by the powers that reign. to not walk with the few that wish to fight. they are brave. braver than i have been. i was wronged. i forgave. i moved on. held no grudge. this was right. but now, as an outsider, i keep thinking of what martin niemoeller realized in the throes of the second world war... first, they came for the socialists, and i did not speak out because i was not a socialist. then they came for the trade unionists, and i did not speak out because i was not a trade unionist. then they came for the jews, and i did not speak out because i was not a jew. then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.
i have been spoken for by someone who is now being wronged... am i not meant to speak for him? must i not repay? this is hard. this is going against the queen bee. and for all those who don't know the theory, that action ends in death. i'm struggling. i know that God will take care of this. but when did he ever call us to be passive? i don't profess to be extraordinarily learned when it comes to the word, in fact i find i fall short in so many ways, but i don't recall ever reading that we should not fight the good fight. as beings made in God's image, does that not make us warriors? battling for the kingdom? and yet i have people whom i consider very wise telling me to let it go. that it will work itself out. to me, that's passive. i get that sometimes we do need to step back and release control, but when it feels like we are called to battle, ought we not go forth? and what does that look like? i haven't any idea.
posted by julie @ 4:07 PM
2 Comments:
I have no answers for you . . . I just wanted you to know you caused me to pause and pray for mine . . .
GOD GRANT ME the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . .
COURAGE TO CHANGE the things I can . . .
AND the WISDOM to know the difference . . .
"it was there, when i was nine years old that i committed my life to christ. and it was there, when i was 21 that i finally got what that meant"
wondering if a new step in your God-life is being birthed.
I pray for you today. for ears to hear him well. and courage... to act or to hold - whatever he calls you to.
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