standing still.
i spent an hour on 35W last night between lyndale and diamond lake road. it's never taken me so long to go a mile and a half. my car literally did not move for 15 minutes at one point. it was late. it was raining. i was tired. i had my brother's wedding pictures to deliver. in good traffic, i was still an hour away from his house. and i wasn't in good traffic. i pulled out my camera and documented it for awhile. i thought a lot. i have no idea why i am not able to go anywhere. coming up on diamond lake rd, we were met with lights telling us to merge four lanes into two. i did. and then, all of the sudden, we were free & clear. they took the lights away and we were off. i found out later that 35 was severely flooded at diamond lake and the police were having to push cars through because they were floating and couldn't go anywhere. my car would have floated. i don't know where the water went, but when i passed under, the road was merely wet. 'be still and know that i am God.' i haven't stood still in so long. these last two months have been so hectic, so filled up. i keep myself going by reminding my weary body that it'll just be a couple more weeks. as an introvert, i need to stand still. i cannot replenish myself without it. i have a tendency to push myself beyond my limits. i wear down. my spirit starts to die. my eyes get tired. my heart has no energy to care. i just want to sleep. i feel so inadequate to be with nicky today. i took a vacation day to be with her. they're still waiting. nothing is happening. they cannot afford for bobby to not be working, so he went today with strict instructions that i call him immediately if she's in pain. looking in his eyes last night it was clear he didn't want to go. their lives are standing still right now and he doesn't feel right about moving when she cannot. so, today i stand still with nicky, because there is nothing else i can do.
posted by julie @ 9:22 AM
3 Comments:
choosing to BE WITH your stillness in prayer
beautiful.
I'm so sorry to hear about what Bobby and Nicky are going through. They are in my prayers tonight. We lost our first baby at 13 weeks and it is a hard thing. A very hard thing. But God has been so gracious and even after the sting of 2 miscarries, we are blessed with 2 beautiful sons. Someone told me that I really have 4 children; just 2 that I haven't met yet that God will introduce me to when all is restored. I like that thought.
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