wandering sails: 03.2006

3.31.2006

reason to love the rain #8.

this morning found these dear little ones sprouting...

3.30.2006

ah, sweet rain.

i love the rain.

this morning, i woke up to thunder. i loved that even more.

it brought back memories of camp. and more specifically of the island. of falling asleep and waking up to the sound of rain on the tin roof and thunder rolling across the lake. of getting up in the morning drizzle and starting your breakfast fire. of not caring how dirty you were because everyone else was just as dirty. of jumping in the lake anyway to bathe because you had to do it. i could almost smell the suave daily clarifying shampoo. and i remembered how it seemed like every wednesday that we went to mainland to use the beach, it rained. or it was cold. and we swam anyway. of how you you watched the campers band together with this group of 40 because they walked a week alongside you and no one but them knew what that was like.

i woke up this morning in a very good mood.

posted by julie @ 4:16 PM 3 comments

3.27.2006

update.

my dad just called. he said, it's dad.
marlys (my aunt) just called.
she's at the hospital.
the nurse said to her, 'oh, good, maybe you can help us.'
'she's asking us to turn on her soap operas.'

so there you have it. i scolded my dad for his dreary tone and delivery, to which he replied that's exactly how he got the news as well.

she is awake. laughing. cracking jokes. and as recovered from a stroke as you can be.

oh, praise the lord for good things. i am so looking forward to tonight!

posted by julie @ 11:52 AM 2 comments

a little more ruby.

so, my grandma made it through her surgery just fine on friday. early saturday morning, though, she had a small stroke... there's a blood clot on the left side of her brain. the doctor's aren't super concerned about it and tell us that she'll recover and start to respond again in a few days.

i haven't seen her yet. i think i'm going tonight. my brother had a really hard time seeing her like that on saturday, but i don't know how not to go see her. what if, what if this is a bigger deal than they know? what if she doesn't recover? and even if she does, i don't want to wait almost a week to go see her after her surgery. i have things to tell her. time to spend with her. so i will go.

and just to give you a peak into what we've been doing lately, here are a few pictures...

my grandma and sons... my dad is the one in the middle.
my grandma (on left) & two sisters.

my parents.

my uncle david and great-great grandfather.

my grandma (in white) and three sisters.

my grandfather.

posted by julie @ 9:20 AM 0 comments

3.24.2006

broken hearts.

last night, i went to see my grandma. i brought some of her pictures with again so we could keep going through them. (we've been working organizing and labeling so that i can put them in books for her) it's something she's really enjoyed... she laughs and remembers and smiles her way through the piles. i have loved it as well. i stayed until about eight when the nurse came in to do her thing.

this morning, she will have open heart surgery for the second time.

after i left the hospital i stopped at my aunt and uncle's house to pass on some information to them. i stayed and chatted for a while, just catching up. then, as i was leaving the conversation took a turn that breaks my heart.

you have heard how wonderful my family is... how close we are, how much we love each other. now, let me introduce you to the other half of my family. my dad's side.

my dad is one of two brothers who have no grudges held against them or hold any with any of their brothers. the other three. well, they have some problems. i have seen them hate on each other more than i could have thought possible with family. it's been this way for so long.

my grandma shared with me once her greatest fear. it was soon after my grandfather has passed and she told me that when she died, she was scared the family would fall apart. she's probably right. and she knows it. i don't see much cohesiveness around me. i know that my immediate family will not likely lose contact with anyone... we have good relations with all, but i honestly believe there will come a day when my uncles and some of my aunts will cease all communication.

if my grandma doesn't make it past this surgery, her funeral will be the last time my entire paternal family will be together. i hate that. and i feel like i need to try to fix it. but i don't how. and it's so much bigger than me. and i am so tired. and there's so much incredible hardness in a few hearts. meanness. that's what it comes to. i just want them to grow up. i don't get why they refuse to realize that this world is bigger than themselves. there's more to life than being right.

there's more to life than this.

posted by julie @ 9:06 AM 2 comments

3.22.2006

gross fact #64.

okay, here's sort of a gross thing i remembered on the way to work this morning.

when i was in junior high, i kept a gum collection on my bedpost. my mother hated it. i hate it now. i have no idea why i kept it. or even more so, why i remembered it this morning.

gross.

posted by julie @ 8:30 AM 0 comments

3.21.2006

the in between.

i love this time of year.

when it's not quite spring yet, but not really winter anymore... you know, that inbetween season.

this morning, on my way to the garage, i was cracking the ice. see, my driveway needs to be regravelled. so, as the snow is melting, it's creating a bit of a muddy mess in the driveway. i have some rather deep ruts in certain areas, which fill with water during the warmer day and freeze in the colder night. you must remember what this creates. the super thin ice with air underneath? remember? i remember racing around the driveway with my brothers, trying to find the really big pockets of the 'glass' so you could jump and jump and jump.

so on my way to the garage this morning, i went from rut to rut, looking for ice to crack.

and yesterday, as i was driving out to my parents house, i was really grateful that the sun is setting so much later. i love the drive out to my parents house, but throughout the winter, i rarely make the drive in the daylight. but last night, i got to see the early sunset over the hills and trees and lakes. oh, it was beautiful.

posted by julie @ 9:11 AM 0 comments

3.20.2006

my gift for jackson.

PROMISING GREY STALLION
BY FLAGMOUNT KING

oh, new little jackson, here is my gift to you.
i give you this promising stallion. (this is much better than an unpromising stallion. trust me. someday you'll learn these things but for now, you'll just have to trust me.) i have no idea where your parents will choose to lodge him, but i'm sure they'll figure it out.

his name is masaii. he's six years old and has a good temperament. he a superb jumper, which i'm sure dad will love, but maybe not so much mom. he's an honest horse and an easy ride.

also, he lives in ireland, which means that they'll have to take you there to pick him up. if you want, as one of your biggest fans, i'd be willing to go with, too. :)

posted by julie @ 2:40 PM 1 comments

3.16.2006

stretching.

on tuesday night, i ate sauerkraut. for those of you who know me, you know this is a big deal. because i think sauerkraut stinks. but i ate it on a mini reuben. to be exact, i had multiple mini reubens. and i liked them.

posted by julie @ 4:27 PM 1 comments

3.13.2006

march snow.

okay, minnesotans... are you loving this? when you woke up and saw your world blanketed in white, did you smile? i did.

oh, i smiled big.

posted by julie @ 11:28 AM 3 comments

3.12.2006

quick! it's a hummer sale!

today, as i was driving west on 94, i noticed this sign next to the new hummer dealership: big sale.

what exactly is a big sale at a hummer dealership? and would it ever be enough to draw you in to buy one? because aside from being an incredibly impractical vehicle (which also happens to be sorely misused by most owners), they're expensive. it's shouldn't be a spontaneous decision. i mean, who drives down the road, sees a big sale sign at the hummer dealership and says to the person next to them, hey, look! a sale on hummers. should we stop? like they're canned peas and it's an afterthought. and can't you just hear the response from the other person?

oh, sure, why not? it is tuesday, after all. and we are out. way to find the bargains, honey!

posted by julie @ 7:02 PM 1 comments

3.09.2006

gather round.

i miss having a kitchen table. i haven't had a kitchen table in one year, eight months and 15 days. tonight, as i sat in silence, eating my sandwich (which, by the way, i really enjoyed) i realized how much i have missed it.

it moved about a week before i moved out of my apartment in bloomington. it moved into storage, i moved into nowhere. then, when i got the house, i lost a place to put one. since it's not fun or easy to work around a table when refinishing a floor, the table (which is slated to move in with my brother and sister-in-law when they finish their house) was relegated to the second bedroom to hold the computer. this has worked out well, since i use my computer a lot. i eat my meals on my couch or the livingroom floor (mostly because the kitchen floor is extremely uncomfortable) and fill the silence with the tv.

i grew up in a household that didn't have a tv in the dining room or kitchen. and the tv in the family room was turned off during mealtime. this was intentional. we gathered around the table, as a family, to share a meal and we talked. there's just something to sharing a meal with people. taking a break from the hecticness of the day and focusing energing on eating and finding out who the peole around you are.

tonight, i sat in silence. and i sat at a kitchen table. not my own, but one indeed. and aside from giving me motivation to finish my floors, i had a chance to spend some quality time with myself. and maybe that's what i miss the most.

posted by julie @ 5:57 PM 2 comments

3.03.2006

high hopes.

this morning, i have three things for you.

one, i noticed, on my garage door today, a bug. this surely means that spring is coming if it's warm enough for that little guy to survive. it seems much too early and i have high hopes for a severe cold spell yet this month.

two, i'm wondering if berets are back? on my way to work, i noticed three people in a car ahead of me, all wearing the flat hat at an angle. i have high hopes that this is not so. they're fairly impractical and not so easy to keep at that perfect angle of askewness.

three, it would seem that i am sick again. i have high hopes for this time being much shorter than my previous bout with the crap.

and that's all i have.

posted by julie @ 9:27 AM 1 comments

wandering sails