wandering sails: 05.2006

5.31.2006

crisis.

i have a problem. we all have a problem. i include you because this is so important to me that i think you should care, as well.

i have misplaced my jake armerding and emmylou harris red dirt girl cds. i have the cases, just no cds. i don't understand it, how could i lose just the cds??? these are fantastic cds and without them, my collection takes a downward turn from greatness. sniff. choke. be strong. we'll make it. we'll find them.

posted by julie @ 8:31 AM 2 comments

5.30.2006

to chill or not to chill.

i thought a lot about air conditioning this weekend. with most days well into the 90s and the humidity at high levels, one is apt to think about air conditioning.

especially if you don't have any.

i have none. thus, i thought about it.

in my car, i have no air. on really hot days, even with all the windows rolled down, the back of your shirt will showcase two colors... the wet color and the dry color. and for some reason, my car seems to be a bit of a vaccuum for heat. so i try not to go anywhere that would require me to roll up my windows while parking my car in the sun. often, when traveling with guests, they insist upon trying the air, certain it will be cooler. no amount of talking will convince them that it won't work. so, you turn on the air, roll up the windows and sit in a blissful state of knowing you were right while they sit amidst their pride. and you hope they buck up and admit they were wrong before you suffocate.

in my house, i have no air. i do have trees on either side of my house, so most of the day, the sun doesn't shine directly into my house. this helps. i don't have a fan, but i do have screens that let surprising amounts of breeze in. but on a weekend like the one we just had, it is not cool in my home. i'll admit, this weekend, as i was holed up in my house working on projects, i took a lot of lathargic breaks with a remote in my hand and a creamsicle in the other. i know that consuming vast amounts of sugar is not a good idea when you want to cool down, but you'll be happy to know that i accidentally bought sugar free creamsicles. they are really not that great.

i thought this weekend about air conditioning. maybe i should get one for the house. but i like looking out my windows more than i like to be cool. maybe i should get the air fixed in the car. but it's so old. is it worth it?

and then i realize, this is the same attitude that people take about winter, why they don't play outside, why they're holed up in their houses complaining about the weather that is just a part of minnesota life. and it's the same reason why i will go to no great lengths to air condition my life. i like the bitter cold. because it makes the summer so much sweeter. and it makes me tougher. and the sticky, disgusting humid heat makes me tougher. i don't know why i like to be tougher. having three brothers might have something to do with it. wanting to spend time outside may also.

so, this my friends, is what i have concluded: knowing that i have lived my entire life without air conditioning makes me realize that i can live this summer without it. i'll stock up on the lemonade, seek out the shade and slowly acclimate myself to the temperatures just in time for winter to start again. and that's the end of the story.

posted by julie @ 4:10 PM 3 comments

5.24.2006

woo!

SOUL PATROL!!!

posted by julie @ 9:44 PM 2 comments

close encounter.

on the way out to montana, we drove through a fairly severe storm. i, of course, absolutely loved it and thought it was the best part of the drive. mostly what i want to tell you about is the lightening. the rain had abated and the grass greener. the wind was still strong and the smell of freshness was in the air. all of the sudden, we heard this really loud clap of thunder to the left. all five of us whipped our heads in that direction, which seems to be an involuntary movement. at that instant, we saw a bolt of lightening hit the ground about twenty feet from the road. the ground was all orange and we could actually see the contact point. as i tried to blink away the line in my eyes, i asked, did you just see that??? nobody directly answered me because they were all asking the same question. it was crazy.

posted by julie @ 5:20 PM 1 comments

5.23.2006

montana.

i am back. i am tired. i am glad i went.

it was good to go back to montana. it's been too long. there were pieces of the landscape i recognized and some that i missed.

i have stories. and i'll tell them, but not all at once. for now, let me just

leave you with the reason for my journey westward.

this is lucille. she turned one hundred on april 9th.

she's lived a life worth repeating. this is a woman who can do anything. this earth will both grieve her loss and rejoice her soul when she leaves us.

it is a better world because she lives in it.

and we had ourselves one fine party.

posted by julie @ 11:39 AM 1 comments

5.19.2006

leaving the road.

i had so much on my plate last night. i had a shoot to edit, laundry and dishes to wash, plants to plant, a lawn to mow and a bag to pack. oh, yeah, and eat.

after running errands, i was driving home and i left the road. i turned left when i should have gone straight. i took an hour to do what i promised myself would only take minutes. i got some decent pictures. nothing i'm blown over by, but it was a good reminder to me that it's necessary for me to be spontaneous sometimes. to blow off the responsibilities of life and just be. it was a well spent hour.

i got home, mowed and planted in the rain and then started the laundry and dishes. i went to bed because i was tired and packed this morning. i didn't get to the photos. i forgot to eat.

tonight, i leave for the cabin, from which my grandma and i will leave at six am to meet my aunt and cousins for a fourteen hour drive to montana. it was really good for me to slow down for a bit.

life off the road is far better than life on the road.

posted by julie @ 3:31 PM 2 comments

5.16.2006

smell of heaven.

life is quietly busy these days, but the first of my lilies of the valley have blossomed, which means that i collected a handful and put them on my desk. all day, i have been picking up the little vase, sticking my nose deep within and breathing in. one cannot help but sigh with delight. i feel like i'm in a febreeze commercial.

and on another note, kevin informed me that i was no longer his best friend. seems i've been passed over for someone with an interest in mr t? since i was not aware that i ever had been his bff, it's not crushed me.

i suppose if it does get me down, i'll just smell the lilies. and all will be well.

posted by julie @ 3:07 PM 4 comments

5.11.2006

goya.

goya? what the heck is goya? well, it's an acronym. i know it was hard to tell that because acronyms are usually in all caps and i don't use caps at all. sorry. it stands for get off your arse. and it happens on fridays. or thursday nights, as was the case last week, but it's really fridays. every friday, i will be getting off my arse and making a point to take a collection of photos that i could envision in a coffee shop. it's all been inspired by a guy named zack arias, a photographer out of atlanta. it's a good idea. and so, if you choose to follow the link, you too can reap the benefits of goya fridays.

point of purpose.

as a disclaimer, i've been having some html issues, so there are still a few little quirks. but the pictures are there. enjoy.

posted by julie @ 10:40 AM 1 comments

ashley nicole.

and so i have a niece that joins my little nephew in heaven.

posted by julie @ 8:18 AM 2 comments

5.10.2006

news.

i thought about telling you guys this before, but i didn't. maybe i didn't want to jinx it, but i want to tell you now. my brother bobby and his wife nicky are pregnant again. you may remember that the pregnancy this past fall ended in a miscarriage (if not, read through posts from the beginning of october). she also miscarried twins last march.

nicky is at about 16 or 17 weeks right now. this is about a week or so earlier than she started to miscarry last october. tomorrow, they have an ultrasound scheduled to find out if it's a boy or a girl. i asked nicky which she preferred and she told me, 'i don't care if it's a boy, i don't care if it's a girl, i don't care if it's handicapped. i just want to bring a baby home.'

right now, they're at north memorial. she's miscarrying again and they're waiting again. the baby is healthy, strong, growing. but, barring a miracle, there is no chance for survival. apparently, her cervix has relaxed and the amniotic sac is coming out, too far to do anything about it. they have plans to prevent this next time she gets pregnant, but no magic trick to help this little baby.

this little baby just trying to live.

posted by julie @ 10:19 AM 2 comments

finally.

we've been getting gypped out here in maple lake. it seems we live in a bubble that keeps the really good storms at bay. they're always to the west or the south or any other direction (being north or east), just not over my sleepy little town. i get really disappointed because i like the severe storms. i'm not so into damage, but i like the strength of storms. i love to stand on my porch and feel the wind. smell the rain. it feels like a show god puts on. show me the power sort of thing. and i love to fall asleep to the rhythm of the rain and the rumble of the thunder. i love it when a flash of lightening wakes me up. and i love to just watch the rain come down.

but we haven't been getting storms at my house. and last night, as it was pouring and hailing at joel and kathy's, i thought... i bet i'm missing this at home. and as i was leaving, we were looking at a large thunderhead off in the distance and since i'm always turned around at their house, i thought... and i sure won't see it at home.

but at every turn and every curve, i got more excited. because i realized that i was driving right at that thunderhead. with every flash of lightening, i got giddier. i honestly don't have the words to fully describe the emotions i was having. i was speeding home, not because i didn't want to drive in the rain, but i wanted to enjoy the storm without having to think about driving.

going home last night was sadly the best worship i have experienced in what seems like way too long. oh, but it was good.

posted by julie @ 8:50 AM 1 comments

5.08.2006

rip it off.

a few weeks ago, i burned the back of my wrist on the oven. i'll admit, it hurt, but it was in no ways debilitating or reason enough to cry. last week, the scab had started to come up a little around the edges, but as a whole, was so not ready to come off.

and then, on friday, just as i was about to leave work, i stretched my sleeves out over my hands and it got caught. and it came off. and it hurt like a banshee.

but it seems the intense pain was worth it, because i no longer have to worry about it coming off early and hurting. because it already did. i survived the pain and though i always knew i would, i dreaded the moment i would have to go through it. the worry was worse than the pain.

and now here's the profound part. aren't so many things in life just like that?

posted by julie @ 3:22 AM 0 comments

5.05.2006

a little of the unexpected.

i found these trees. i was trying to find my brother-in-law's new apartment and i got lost. but i found these trees. and after passing them twice, i made myself stop. i was late. i still didn't know where i was going. but i needed to shoot these trees.

i quickly snapped maybe six pictures and then headed back to my car. can you tell? i wasn't really committed to stopping. as i was walking back, three seven or eight year old boys rode up on their bikes and asked me 'were you taking pictures of the flowers????' indeed i was, i replied, to which they excitedly asked to see them. one of them, bless his heart, said, 'that one's just like a regular picture in a magazine!'

i watched the boys decide to pick some of the blossoms and start climbing the tree. they assured me that they were expert tree climbers and thought about throwing out my tree climbing credentials, but let it go instead. inspired to actually take my time, i started shooting again. the boys and i had a delightful conversation and after helping me with a couple of shots, we began to part ways. i want a branch, i thought. i'm going to get one, too. this, i verbalized, to which one of the boys replied, no. i'm going to get it for you.

he handed me the branch he already had and clambored up the tree, looking around, sizing up each branch he saw. finally, he found the perfect one. now, i had envisioned a small branch, something suitable for a small vase. just a

little something. what he came down with was a four foot section of incredible beauty. four feet of pure blossom.

what i had envisioned was so much less than what he had seen. this little boy gets it. he's gonna be good when he gets some years on him.

the problem, as i see it, is that he's seven. i ask you, where are guys my age willing to climb a tree and break off a branch of flowers for me?

posted by julie @ 11:10 AM 3 comments

5.04.2006

i think 27 is too old.

i chaperoned a youth conference this past weekend with my friend steve's youth group. i used to chaperone the youth group at my parents' old church all the time. nine years ago.

this is me nine years ago.

this is me last weekend.

i sort of look the same, but i don't feel the same. i had fun this past weekend, but i'm paying dearly for it. with two chiropractor appointments under my belt this week and fairly constant yawns, i think i just may be too old for this. although, it's sort of nice to realize i've inherited my father's ability to age slowly...

posted by julie @ 4:17 PM 3 comments

wandering sails