bits of good & sad.
today is my little brother's birthday. it's also veteran's day. when he was little, we used to tell him that the banks and post office were closed just for him. the plan for his present fell through and in my scurried attempts to fix that, i ended up with two gifts. so, it's official. i have started my christmas shopping.
wednesday night, i had harsh words with him. i have missed him as my friend and brother. he's changed. doesn't laugh much anymore and isn't around to hang with anymore. it makes me really sad. and reminded me harshly how alone i really am. and how well i've hidden that, even from myself.
my old friend kristi stopped in at my work on wednesday, as well. i hadn't seen her in about 4 years. she went off to austria for a while and though we emailed on occasion, we never connected when she came back on breaks. we both have this issue with telling stories. we like to do it. this means that she was here for a few hours. and all we did was catch up on the big things. we'll need to schedule another day to finish up. what an amazing person she is. you know how some people just exude light? she's one of them.
my good friend, joel, finally posted again. i think we all thought it would never happen, so rejoice with him that he found the time.
i have a fairly empty weekend. this is a good thing. a very good thing. i'm hauling my winter clothes in from the garage and will put the summer clothes out there instead. now i will not have to wear the same things every week. which is also a very good thing. they say we may get snow next week. i say bring it on. i want snow. i owe it to my snowshoes to take them out of the closet this year. if i don't, their poor little souls may die and i'll be out of luck. soulless snowshoes are no good. besides, when they cry all winter it makes me sad.
that's about all i have. thanks for listening. or reading... if you're looking for funny, read the last post. it's better.
secret.
i am tired of being tired. i'm tired of trying to do it on my own. i am not good on my own. i don't know how i let myself get here. and why is it so easy and so hard to change? i didn't know that when i built my walls, i would shut him out, too. and sometimes, i hear the faint knocking down at the bottom of my wall, but i pretend i don't hear it while i put another stone on. sometimes, i think i'll get to it later, but i never do.
i'm tired of being tired.
more treats than trick.
i have never been able to pass out candy on halloween. ever. i have always been away from home. but this year, i made a point to be home. i got home and turned the porch light on right away while i went to get some things done. i didn't get much done at all. turns out this candy passing out is a busy deal. i had my light on for 2 hours and 15minutes and saw 74 trick-or-treaters. every time i went to do something else, a timid little knock would come on my door. around seven, i was really hungry, so i threw in a pizza and had to stand at the stove and scarf it piece by piece in between knocks. crazy! if i do this next year, i'm getting a second. it's hard to do it all by yourself.being the dork that i am, i have a few numbers for you regarding monday night (as soon as my porch light went off, i ran to the living room to figure these out, but i kept forgetting to bring the sheet in...)74-number of trick-or-treaters.
257-number of individual candies in my bowl.
75-number of individual candies in my bowl at the end of the night.
14-number of bags of candy purchased.
3-number of bags not opened.
100-number of dumdums in a bag (most bang for your buck!)
71-percent of candy from big blue bowl given away.
2.46-pieces of candy per becostumed child.
6-number of candles lining my front walk.
4-number of rolls they used to tp my neighbors yard.